Now I'm Broken
by PeachSunset
Summary: Damon had been holding out for so long, trying not to let all of his feelings, all of his pain, get to him. Finally, after all this time, with Elena having no humanity and Jeremy being dead, he broke.


Elena had already gone to sleep, and Stefan left to find Rebekah. Damon just sat outside of the boarding house and stared into the dark woods. He could no longer think. He couldn't process what had just happened. All he could see in the darkness was Elena's face. The preceding events were just on a constant loop. All he could hear was her voice screaming "Make it stop! It hurts too much! Make it stop!" It was like a broken record. He couldn't shake it. He had made Elena turn off her humanity. Damon stood up and walked a little farther into the foggy darkness. He stared blankly at nothing and stopped. He snapped out of his trance-like state, and everything came flooding in. The walls he kept up for so long to keep out all the pain broke. They crumbled down, all at once. He screamed, as loud as he could. "Damn it, Jer! Damn it! Why?!" Damon fell to his knees. "Why did you have to die?! Why did you have to die on her, Jeremy?!" He pounded the ground with his fists and just yelled, "DAMN IT!" He fell back, "damn it..."

A light flickered on in the house and Damon sat up. He heard a creak and heard someone call from the door. "Hello? Who's out there?" He didn't bother to respond. He could hear the sound of leaves crunching under a person's feet. She was coming out. When the sound disappeared, Damon could make out the figure of what he knew was a girl. A bright light shined a few feet away. Sure enough, Damon could see Elena's dimly lit face, illuminated by a small lamp. He looked at her, hoping for some sort of... anything. But there was nothing. No hug, no kiss, not even a simple "It's okay." She just stared at him blankly, no hint emotion whatsoever.

Elena watched as a cold tear glistened as it ran down from Damon's icy blue eyes. She could vaguely feel something inside of her that just wanted to caress him, but that urge was just cut off somewhere. So she just stared at him. She finally decided to speak after standing for several minutes in complete silence. "What's happening to you?" she asked bluntly. Elena stood, listening for a few seconds, but Damon couldn't manage to utter a word. So instead, she did. "Let's go."

Damon looked up at Elena and she stuck out her hand. He stood up and she started to make her way back to the house, so he followed. When they reached the door, Elena opened it and walked in, going straight for the drink tray. Damon lied down on the couch and closed his eyes. His mind was an ocean of emotions and his thoughts were going a million miles an hour. He couldn't think. He felt a tap on his shoulder and when he opened his eyes, he saw Elena, standing over him.

She held a glass in front of Damon's face. "Drink," she exclaimed. She watched him sit up and just stare in front of him. She crossed her arms. Damon finally shook his head, waking up from whatever it was he was dreaming about. He looked at her, "Oh. Umm... Thanks." Elena just stared down at him for a few moments and then turned around and walked away. A thought finally had popped in her head. _He was lost. He broke. _But she didn't remember what had happened. All she knew was that Jeremy, her poor, sweet, Jer, had been killed. The last thing she had remembered was that nothing felt _real_. She turned back around. "I am going to sleep. You are not going to leave this house again. Got me?" Damon just looked at her and she turned to the stairs and walked away.

It must have been almost six, because Damon could see the sun coming up. He had been sitting on the couch, staring at the ceiling for three or four hours. He had barely sipped the drink Elena poured him earlier that morning. He was worn out, in so many ways. Within minutes, he heard a sound at the top of the stairs. Stefan hadn't come home the night before so he assumed that it had to be Elena. Once again, he was correct. Elena trotted down the stairs in the same outfit she had worn just hours before. "Hello," she said simply.

"G-" Damon cleared his throat. "Good morning, Elena."

"I'm guessing you didn't sleep much, right?"

Damon grunted in agreement. "And how would you know that?"

"Because," Elena explained, "I can see it."

"Oh can you?" Damon retorted.

"Well at least you still have sarcasm."

"Sure… whatever," he just turned away.

Damon just wanted to know how she was. But he just didn't know what to ask. First, it wasn't his style. Or at least it didn't used to be. Second, it had only been a matter of hours since she turned her humanity off. He just stood there, hesitating. "So, what's the matter, huh? Whatcha got on your mind?" Elena said as she plopped down on the couch.

"There is a lot that's on my mind. I mean, since I let _everything_ in."

She turned to him, "But what exactly have you been thinking about?"

"_You_. How are you?" Damon finally got it out.

"Okay, I don't think that now is the time to be asking about _my _well-being."

"Really, because last time I checked, you were the one who just turned off all of their emotions."

"Trust me, I'm fine," she reassured.

Elena stood up and patted him on the shoulder. Her answer didn't satisfy Damon. For the first time, he wanted to hear about how she was hurting. He wanted to hear about how she didn't want this anymore. But he knew that was not how it was going to be. He didn't know how to react. His thoughts were interrupted by Elena's voice. "So, is Bonnie still going crazy?"

Damon hesitated for a moment, "Oh, uhh… I don't know, I haven't talked to her since she left."

"Okay, she'll be fine. Eventually."

There was a knock at the door and then Caroline walked in, holding her sympathy lasagna. "Elena, how are you?"

"Caroline, I'm fine. I am going to put this away."

Caroline watched Elena walk away. Then she looked at Damon. "Why does it seem like nothing happened? What did you do?"

Damon looked at Caroline, trying not to expose what was going on with _him. _"Why do you think that _I_ did something?"

Caroline crossed her arms, "I can't believe you're asking me that. Tell me what is going on. Tell me the truth for once."

"Her humanity."

"Her humanity? What are you talking abou— no. no. Damon…" Caroline was could barely wrap her head around what Damon had just confessed.

"Caroline…"

"How could you do that to her? She isn't Elena without her emotions? Why would you do that to her?"

"I think that this could be good for her. For all of us. At least for a little while."


End file.
